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That’s when it dawned on me, and I felt like a prick.
I suddenly felt responsible for how upset and unhappy she was, even though I had no idea before as to what extent she meant “unhappy”. She comes round a few days later, we had incredible sex, and when she left, my feelings started to dissipate.
There were a couple of times where she said to me that I had to change if I wanted to see her again because she was unhappy in the relationship with me, and she said she felt like a whore when she came round sometimes.
That made me think about the way I was treating her, because I did like this girl a lot and I didn’t want her to feel that way.
A week later, her friend came up to London from the south coast, and the next day she left London to go down there.
I said to her to have fun and I’ll speak to her when she’s back.
I stay away from lovey dovey moments, I keep the compliments at a low and I keep my emotions very much wrapped up. It’s what they need to stay interested and to keep chasing you.
I told her not to come and that we should stop seeing each other because this is the third time she’d done this to me and I could tell if we carried on, it’s just going to keep happening again and again.
I didn’t want to, but I was plunging her into misery unintentionally and I didn’t want to keep hurting her.
She’d told me previously that she wanted to break up with me so many times but “I don’t know what it is but I want to stay with you”.
I’m not standing for this shit and she’s pulled a similar stunt a couple of other times.
I’ll get her round at the weekend and end things with her.
There was a time-bomb waiting to explode in this relationship at the end of the year anyway when I leave London to go traveling.